Suicide hotlines, it's time to up your game

I dialled a familiar number. I held the phone close to my ear, listening as each small little electrical pulse ran to get for help with each beep resonated in the receiver. I twirled the coils of the telephone line and felt my soul inside equally as gnarled. My life is out of sorts, and I need someone to tell them to. Given such an eccentric personality, my social circle's radius is very confined as well. I reached out for the telephone, felt the smooth round buttons compress under my finger's push. Instead of help, I was delievered rejection. They made me feel like a specimen. I was the frog they were dissecting on. It is one of the worst feelings ever in the world. 

To kick things off, suicide hotlines can make their clients feel like statistics. This problem not just lies with me, but also another 723 of 1431 calls for aid. Instead of asking the person on the line whether he or she feels suicidal, receivers beat around the bush. They attempt talking about daily life, but that is exactly what people want to avoid. Real life is like a suckerpunch straight up the jaw at times. The type of tone that they adopt is like the suicide version of Elder-speak. Elder-speak is when some of us speak to older people, we slow down, sugar-coat our sentences and use repetition. Here, it becomes like " Yes, I know you are feeling very down as you have said. And you also mentioned you are sad. Yes, you feel devastated. Don't be sad okay?" Applying what I have just learnt in school today, this qualifies for a logical fallacy of begging the question. One is just using synonyms for sad, but one is not really tackling the problem. The inability to deliver the promised effects makes the caller feel even more hopeless. It gives the caller the impression that his problem is so big that even a professional cannot solve it. So, in his mind, there will be a higher chance of the balance tilting towards pulling the trigger and not. For me, I really felt like sliting my wrist more with every single call. Instead of feeling better, suicide hotlines are providing me with every reason to jump off the building. Hence, as suicide hotlines services are making people feel worse, I believe it is time to up the game of providing people with real comfort and not act all stiff and unnatural when handling cases. 

Other than making one feel estranged, some volunteers of the suicide hotline get impatient as the caller tells the volunteer about his problem. For example, when they try to solve the problem, volunteers may speak in a hasty manner or they may show signs of annoyance in their speech. I have experienced this personally before when one of the suicide hotline volunteers I called said bye to me before I could finish my  sentence. However, I am not alone. There are many others who have experienced the same thing as I have. I felt that nobody ever bothered or cared. But then again, I guess I must learn to understand that I cannot be too selfish to demand that everyone is here for me when I need them the most. However, I felt really alone and left out like there was really no one to care. Hence, as suicide hotlines can potentially convince one to probably take that leap of death, it really needs to up its game in helping people walk out of their darkness. 

I do understand it is tough being a volunteer for a crisis hotline. Everyday, there will be shattered souls coming to one waiting for the power of one's words to piece up the broken parts together. It is going to be very difficult for the volunteers if they have never had any of such incidents before. Every person's perspective is different, thus what may seem like a problem for one may not be a headache for another. Also, to each his own experience. Hence, for a volunteer to understand every caller's encounters fully is really a Herculean task. Therefore, while they try their best to appreciate the complexity of our situation, it is also the caller's duty to be patient and clear in explaining. 

Then again, even though their service is not bad to start off with, however, I believe that suicide hotlines can do better. Being a INTJ, I appreciate it when people show their logic in dissecting a problem and presenting it to me in a clear logical manner. However, being an INTJ who has been immersed in many sad novels and thrillers, I do have an emotional side. Hence, when one analyzes my problems as if it were an examination script, I would feel very alien, and I'm sure many people would too. Suicide hotlines without a human touch is like talking to a robot. This unfortunately does not solve any problem at all. Also, with a little bit more patience, I'm sure a lot of people would appreciate it even more when there is really someone listening to their problem. Most would love a listening ear when they are in distress. Talking to people is one of the best and instant ways to feel better about a situation according to Jim Gray and and suicide website, Lost all Hope. 

Wrapping up, I hope that suicide hotlines would be able to incorporate less hassle when handling cases. They should introduce more follow ups like "Are you feeling better now? Talk to me more about this issue, and let me see what I can do about it. " Also, crisis hotlines should be able tackle their client's problems directly instead of avoiding it. All of these would make the client feel  welcome and warmth because the other person on the line really cares for him or her. Hence, his scales in this case would be to put down that bottle of bleach instead of swigging it like soda. People need love and care to go around. I sincerely hope that each individual considering about suicide would give it one more thought. Walking down the boulevard of broken dreams is hard, but someone will find you very soon, so fret not and be strong.